Many Things Are Affecting Me
Perhaps it is because my apartment is so cold right now, or rather that the seasons are changing. It might be because my sinuses constantly throb with a slight ache this time of year. Maybe it is the encroaching holiday season of dread. But many things are affecting me.
Last night I went to see a sneak preview of the movie “Shopgirl” based on the Steve Martin novella of the same name. One of my favorites. For those who haven’t read, it’s a kind of modern-day cynical fairy tale, complete with messy ending. The movie was more than faithful in its adaptation. And, for me at least, it was profound. Never one to fall for sentiment and romance, this was my kind of love story.
I thought about it long into the night and it is still weighing on me. Although, admittedly, I have a more than morbid fascination with Claire Danes, I truly feel she was amazing in “Shopgirl” and the film itself was quite beautiful.
This would be easy to let go if it weren’t for the fact that everything seems to be setting me off into great contemplation and states of ambiguous empathy.
All of the music I am listening to currently (on the train, at work, walking down the street) is only amplifying this ache and swell inside. I find myself tearing up to emotional songs and clenching my fists to the angry songs (more so than usual).
I inject meaning into stranger’s conversations that I overhear on the bus or waiting in line at Subway.
This is not to say that I am morose or depressed.
How to articulate???
I think…
Every now and then people have to turn themselves completely inside out, shake out their hides and fluff their pillows. Fold, readjust and get comfortable. Look inward and outward at the same time, until finally we are back where we started but with fresh looks and rested eyes.
I think I failed to articulate.
The summation being, if when talking to me recently I have seemed “down” or “sad” or “strange”, or to those who have not heard from me: “distant”, do not be alarmed. I am merely resituating. Adapting, as it were, to the many things that are affecting me.
Last night I went to see a sneak preview of the movie “Shopgirl” based on the Steve Martin novella of the same name. One of my favorites. For those who haven’t read, it’s a kind of modern-day cynical fairy tale, complete with messy ending. The movie was more than faithful in its adaptation. And, for me at least, it was profound. Never one to fall for sentiment and romance, this was my kind of love story.
I thought about it long into the night and it is still weighing on me. Although, admittedly, I have a more than morbid fascination with Claire Danes, I truly feel she was amazing in “Shopgirl” and the film itself was quite beautiful.
This would be easy to let go if it weren’t for the fact that everything seems to be setting me off into great contemplation and states of ambiguous empathy.
All of the music I am listening to currently (on the train, at work, walking down the street) is only amplifying this ache and swell inside. I find myself tearing up to emotional songs and clenching my fists to the angry songs (more so than usual).
I inject meaning into stranger’s conversations that I overhear on the bus or waiting in line at Subway.
This is not to say that I am morose or depressed.
How to articulate???
I think…
Every now and then people have to turn themselves completely inside out, shake out their hides and fluff their pillows. Fold, readjust and get comfortable. Look inward and outward at the same time, until finally we are back where we started but with fresh looks and rested eyes.
I think I failed to articulate.
The summation being, if when talking to me recently I have seemed “down” or “sad” or “strange”, or to those who have not heard from me: “distant”, do not be alarmed. I am merely resituating. Adapting, as it were, to the many things that are affecting me.
posted by Ben at
7:41 AM
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